Listen with your heart.
Helping begins with your ability to be an active listener. Your physical presence and desire to listen without judging are critical helping tools. Don’t worry so much about what you will say. Just concentrate on listening to the words that are being shared with you. Your friend may relate the same story about the death over and over again. Listen attentively each time. Realize this repetition is part of your friend’s healing process. Simply listen and understand.

Be compassionate.
Give your friend permission to express his or her feelings without fear of criticism. Learn from your friend; don’t instruct or set expectations about how he or she should respond. Never say, “I know just how you feel.” You don’t. Think about your helper role as someone who “walks with,” not “behind” or “in front of” the one who is mourning. Allow your friend to experience all the hurt, sorrow and pain that he or she is feeling at the time. Enter into your friend’s feelings, but never try to take them away. And recognize that tears are a natural and appropriate expression of the pain associated with the death.

Avoid clichés.
Words, particularly cliches, can be extremely painful for a grieving friend. Cliches are trite comments often intended to diminish the loss by providing simple solutions to difficult realities. Comments like, “You are holding up so well,” “Time heals all wounds,” “Think of all you still have to be thankful for” or “Just be happy that he’s out of his pain” are not constructive. Instead, they hurt and make a friend’s journey through grief more difficult.

Understand the uniqueness of grief.
Keep in mind that your friend’s grief is unique. No one will respond to the death of someone loved in exactly the same way. While it may be possible to talk about similar phases shared by grieving people, everyone is different and shaped by experiences in their own unique lives.  Because the grief experience is also unique, be patient. The process of grief takes a long time, so allow your friend to proceed at his or her own pace. Don’t force your own timetable for healing. Don’t criticize what you believe is inappropriate behavior. And while you should create opportunities for personal interaction, don’t force the situation if your grieving friend resists.

Offer practical help.
Preparing food, washing clothes, cleaning the house or answering the telephone are just a few of the practical ways of showing you care. And, just as with your presence, this support is needed at the time of the death and in the weeks and months ahead.

Make contact.
Your presence at the funeral is important. As a ritual, the funeral provides an opportunity for you to express your love and concern at this time of need. As you pay tribute to a life that is now passed, you have a chance to support grieving friends and family. At the funeral, a touch of your hand, a look in your eye or even a hug often communicates more than any words could ever say. Don’t just attend the funeral then disappear, however. Remain available in the weeks and months to come, as well. Remember that your grieving friend may need you more later on than at the time of the funeral. A brief visit or a telephone call in the days that follow are usually appreciated.

Write a personal note.
Sympathy cards express your concern, but there is no substitute for your personal written words. What do you say?

Share a favorite memory of the person who died.
Relate the special qualities that you valued in him or her. These words will often be a loving gift to your grieving friend, words that will be reread and remembered for years. Use the name of the person who has died either in your personal note or when you talk to your friend. Hearing that name can be comforting, and it confirms that you have not forgotten this important person who was so much a part of your friend’s life.

Be aware of holidays and anniversaries.
Your friend may have a difficult time during special occasions like holidays and anniversaries. These events emphasize the absence of the person who has died. Respect this pain as a natural extension of the grief process. Learn from it. And, most importantly, never try to take away the hurt.  Your friend and the family of the person who died sometimes create special traditions surrounding these events. Your role? Perhaps you can help organize such a remembrance or attend one if you are invited.

Understanding the importance of the loss.
Remember that the death of someone loved is a shattering experience. As a result of this death, your friend’s life is under reconstruction. Consider the significance of the loss and be gentle and compassionate in all of your helping efforts. “While the above guidelines will be helpful, it is important to recognize that helping a grieving friend will not be an easy task. You may have to give more concern, time and love that you ever knew you had. But this effort will be more than worth it. By ‘walking with’ your friend in grief, you are giving one of life’s most precious gifts – yourself.”

About the Author
Dr. Alan D. Wolfelt is a noted author, educator and grief counselor. He serves as director of the Center for Loss and Life Transition in Fort Collins, Colorado and presents numerous workshops each year across North America. Among his many bestselling books are “Understanding Your Grief”, “Healing a Friend’s Grieving Heart” and “The Mourner’s Book of Hope”. For more information visit the website: centerforloss.com or phone 970-226-6050. You can reach out to Dr. Wolfelt directly at DrWolfelt@centerforloss.com

“Grow, Proclaim, Serve” is a Bible study we use in our children’s department each Sunday.  Children hear the Bible story, apply the Bible message, and then live out the message in their lives in concrete and age-appropriate ways.

Can you name the entire cast of “Saved by the Bell” or the original “90210″?  Were you a fan of NKOTB, Guns N Roses, DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince, or Metallica?  Are you a young adult or couple looking for some cool people to hang out with on Sunday mornings?   If you answered YES to any of these questions, the Visions Sunday School class is for you!    Our age group ranges from mid-twenties to mid-thirties and is primarily young married couples.  Our purpose is to have Biblically based study and open-mined discussion on a wide variety of issues and current events facing us today.    We are always looking for new ways to get out and minister to those around us.  Please join us as we examine God’s love and grace and His plan for our lives!

No singles left behind!  Come join us as we learn about God’s plan for our future, make new friends, and just have fun.  The target age is singles to 39 years of age.  Please call Vickie McPeters at 847-0605

The target age is singles to 39 years of age.  Please call Vickie McPeters at 847-0605

The Unity Class is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are going to get. We welcome new members to our group with open arms. We love the Lord and want to serve Him through study and praise and serving our fellow man.

Our class format includes church activities and announcements followed with shared concerns and praises, opening prayer, the lesson, and closing prayer.  This class was formed as a spin-off from another class by a small group with a common interest in Bible study rather than more contemporary themes.

The Shema (pronounced sha-MA) is the Jewish confession of faith which says “Hear O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is One” (Deut. 6:4).  Without that explanation, Shema appears to be a weird name for a class.

The Shema Class is a very friendly, caring, loving and compassionate community of Christian believers.  Our class consists of a very diversified group ranging in age from the early twenties to the seventies, and includes both singles and couples. Our average attendance currently ranges around twenty-five each week.

Our textbook is the Bible, God’s Holy Word.  We are currently studying the Gospel of John.  We are a discussion class and our circled seating arrangement encourages participation.  We enjoy discussing the Scripture and applying it to our lives today.

We try to have some type of class social function at least every other month.  This gives us a chance to have some fun and get to know each other better, since our time on Sunday mornings is limited.  We really enjoy our fellowship together.

As a class we also participate in a lot of worthwhile projects and ministries – both in and outside our church walls.  We are involved and support the Room In The Inn project for the homeless, the Habitat for Humanity project, painting projects, Project C.U.R.E., Campus Outreach, the Community Care Fellowship, Narrow Way Productions, sponsoring kids in Uganda and etc. etc.  When opportunities to help others present themselves we are eager to be involved.

We meet in the Fellowship Building in room 309 at 9:45 each Sunday morning.  We welcome anyone and everyone that would be interested in Bible-based discussions.

Website: http://www.shemaclass.com

Our class is a multi-generational class that focuses on understanding and applying Bible concepts to everyday life.  Organized in 2004, this class is discussion-oriented and led by various members who act as facilitators. Fun-loving and uses lots of humor and life experiences which creates a warm, open atmosphere for all to share.